Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Hump-day Musings

While I do enjoy the joy I get from assisting others as a secret agent, but it makes me anxious sometimes to connect my work to actual people. Hmmm... but still... for some reason I think I want to switch to maybe the IRS or something... at least if people did not like me, then I would still be getting government pay and benefits... that would make me one happy agent.

On today's adventures, my handy dandy sidekick (Mio) decided to take me through a college campus instead of to the correct destination. At least this time he understood that the place I wanted to existed... just was slightly confused on how to get there.

THEN! Between missions I stopped at Subway. Don't get me wrong, I am usually pretty excited about getting a 6-inch sub. This time I was pretty excited to get a salad. I've been sick for awhile so craving a salad is pretty good for me...

... Clue #1... there was no one in there... I know right... no one in a subway? I'll let you figure out the clue numbers from here.

Kid behind counter is confused as to what I would want other than lettuce in my grilled chicken salad. After convincing her that I would, in fact, prefer the chicken hot as to cold... she starts sniffing and rubbing her nose up and down her arm.

I'm a little grossed out, but hey, I'm already on antbiotics...

After removing the chicken from the microwave she has serious issues with holding the (presumably) hot chicken and tosses it off the wax paper and onto the counter to cut it instead. I am assuming the counter has magical cooling properties.

After it is eventually dressed with complicated requests like: tomatoes, onions, cucumbers, green peppers, and cheese; I am asked if I would like salad dressing.

"Yes." Of course I want salad dressing, it is the only thing that can make me forget that I'm eating iceburg lettuce, which, while tasty, has no nutritional value.

I am then informed that it only comes on the side. I'm not sure how many people want the sniffling lady touch any more of their food than she already has, so I confirm that it's okay and ask for ranch.

I pay by card. "You problem want a receipt with that." She glares and hands it to me (still wearing the gloves!).

The manager comes out from somewhere and informs me as I am putting the receipt into my purse: "You can leave now."

Oh, did I mention... there is NO ONE but me in line... let alone needing service just hanging out in the restaruant. I guess they figure I'm like some evil secret agent or something.

So I get to the next mission (5 minutes away) and I sit down to have my lovely salad. The chicken is cold like it had been sitting on ice... magical countertop I guess... the cheese is not melted so it never really was hot.

Then I notice they have given me Fat Free Ranch. I know I need to shed a few pounds and all (10 more to target weight and all), but how rude to assume. USUALLY... I'd go for regular Ranch... it has less sugar so it's better for me. So I put on this salad dressing to cover my cold chicken salad. The only thing worse than Fat Free Ranch dressing...


... Fat Free Ranch dressing that has gone bad... as in... EXPIRED! Though I could not find an expiration date at all on the package that was the worst tasting anythng that I have put in my mouth in awhile...

... sad to say salad found its way into the garbage... and this secret agent went hungry...

... Emme (sad)

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